Don't ask the cheese, ask yourself!

Don't ask the cheese, ask yourself!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

What, I can't sit next to you on the couch and make fun of world leaders?

What, I can't sit next to you on the couch and make fun of world leaders?, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

How long does it take for a hamburger to reach your brain?

How long does it take for a hamburger to reach your brain?, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

I want you to live a long time, these pepperonis don't!

I want you to live a long time, these pepperonis don't!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

You have no idea how much my happiness depends on egg nog...

You have no idea how much my happiness depends on egg nog..., originally uploaded by jon's camera.

I could make you like Billy Joel!

I could make you like Billy Joel!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

Just because I'm not where I was when you saw me last, doesn't mean that you have the right to be scared!

Just because I'm not where I was when you saw me last, doesn't mean that you have the right to be scared!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

It's a bird...It's a plane...It's rain!

It's a bird...It's a plane...It's rain!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

My girlfriend fights like a 1920's style boxer.

My girlfriend fights like a 1920's style boxer., originally uploaded by jon's camera.

You've got to become a ninja so no one can see up your nose!

If you like the 80's, you at least have to like saxophones a little...

My stomach is a genius!

Those are like Pamela Anderson apples!

It's like the exorcist of drinks!

It wasn't my fault...It was Facebook!

It wasn't my fault...It was Facebook!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

Oatmeal makes you talk like Adam Sandler.

You remind me of a mogwai.

In a fair and just world all pajama-babies would get massages!

In a fair and just world all pajama-babies would get massages!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

Rumplestiltskin was a bad dude!

Rumplestiltskin was a bad dude!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

He thought he was safe with the hippies but little did he know he wasgoing home with regular spider-hating people!

He thought he was safe with the hippies but little did he know he was going home with regular spider-hating people!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

I can't compete with a mythological cook!

I have an iPhone but I don't have a spoon!

iphone, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

What's for hungry?

hungry, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

Whoa...It's like a Batman knife!

Whoa...It's like a Batman knife!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

I'm like a scuba-bug!

I'm like a scuba-bug!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

I feel like I'm covered in Cheez Whiz!

I feel like I'm covered in Cheez Whiz!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

I thought I was gonna see Vomit Part Two!

What would we do if I were a lumberjack?

You've got to watch out for that asterix!

I don't mime things twice for anybody!

I don't mime things twice for anybody!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

Simon and Garfunkel is the new Blondie!

I've got to go internet...Please, let me go!

One wizard shot another wizard and killed him...I don't know how to react to that.

Great...I'm having a concoction for dinner!

Great...I'm having a concoction for dinner!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

Ha! This chair is wearing clothes!

Ha! This chair is wearing clothes!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

Phil Collins night is exhausting!

Phil Collins night is exhausting!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

Do you want me to go on a small grocery ship?

The world is full of blueberries and glaciers!

The world is full of blueberries and glaciers!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

Potato-man overboard!

Potato-man overboard!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

I don't like anything behind me...even plants!

I don't like anything behind me...even plants!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

You're a mouth midget!

You make me eat too much lettuce.

You make me eat too much lettuce., originally uploaded by jon's camera.

She speaks Franglish!

Have I told you about malaria?

Where are we going for dinner?

Where are we going for dinner?, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

Frank Sinatra haunts all the Italian restaurants in the world!

Frank Sinatra haunts all the Italian restaurants in the world!, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

What if my face was like a voodoo doll for your legs?

What if my face was like a voodoo doll for your legs?, originally uploaded by jon's camera.

What did you say to that watermelon?

I'm having fissues...

I'm having fissues..., originally uploaded by jon's camera.

Two equals one million?